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Facebook and my virginity

Facebook was launched in February 2004. I lost my virginity in February 2005. These seem like unrelated occurrences (no, I didn't lose it to the Zuck) and they were until today. Yes, I have much better things to write about that include what happened this weekend, but I cannot get over what just happened.

I left my Blackberry in my purse for most of the afternoon. Then when I checked it a few hours later, I had a friend request on Facebook. I was curious to see who added me (wondering if it might be my ex who got away) and waited for a few seconds while the message changed from "Facebook User" to the user's actual name. Then I read it. And I read it again. And a third time. I froze, phone in hand, almost dropping it on my keyboard. That name was very familiar, but also fairly common, so I went online on my computer to confirm it. There it was, clear as day: "Facebook User" was the Canadian guy I lost my virginity to almost 7 years ago. I haven't had any communication with him since 2007, and barely any since I last saw him in July of 2005. And he found me on Facebook. Not only that, he's no longer in Canadia, and now lives in Jersey. So, a few questions are kind of killing me right now: how does he remember me? Why does he want to be friends on Facebook? Why did he look me up after all these years? How has he not forgotten me?

Here's a little background: him and I knew each other for about two weeks when he swept me off my feet with the killer line "I want to have breakfast with you", whispered in my ear after dinner at a park on a chilly Argentinian night. We had sex at a nice hotel, he knew he was taking my virginity, and he was super nice about the whole thing. Meanwhile, I came away with my first sexual experience, a great story to tell, and an acquaintance who I'd probably never see again. We emailed. He turned into a friend. When I saw him again in July of the same year when I was in Canada, I tried to kiss him but he turned me down with no explanation. I was ok with it, he took me to a concert and we had fun. Wee emailed a few times after that, your usual "Haven't talked in forever! Where/how are you?", but even that stopped in 2007. Now it's four years later, and he still remembers me, my complicated last name, and tracked me down on Facebook. How the hell does that even happen, and why is he doing this?

I'm still an idiot, but for a different reason now

Turns out the whole not answering messages debacle was blown hugely out of proportion by yours truly. As are a lot of things I write on here. He didn't reply for a good 18h (but who's counting? I AM) but then did. At 1:30pm. Like nothing happened, just the continuation of the conversation. To let my desire to strangle him with the phone charger cord I had imagined 500 times that he had lost die down, I waited until after work to reply. Of course, then he replied back 2min later, while I was vacuuming and had began getting angry again for texting him back at all. *sigh* I really need to cool that shit down.
The ensuing conversation was normal, and peaked with him sending a picture of himself wearing a suit. Well, hello there. I love me a man in a suit, especially when I know there are tattoos under there. I wanted to send something like "Good, now take it off and send me another one" but I feel we may not be quite to that point yet.
Anywho, I asked him when we were hanging out and we set it for this Saturday. We had already talked about the place, so that was the easy part. Now herein lies le problemo. You see, last time, I went into our meeting thinking it was a get-together. Now I know it's a dateish sort of situation. And I'm freaking the fuck out.

I'm an idiot

Today I heard about the concept of "Instant Relationship", which is when you barely know someone and you assume there is some sort of relationship between you. I'm starting to feel that this is what happened with the guy I went out with on Friday and now he stopped answering my texts.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Changing gears rapidly is bad for your gearbox...

And yes, I do realize that not a week ago I was talking about missing my ex boyfriend and how he's the one that got away, and now I'm talking about a great date I had with a guy. Sometimes I think my life is like something out of a movie. Times like these, I think it's like something out of several movies happening at the same time. If I only knew which movie to sit down and watch till the end...

08/19/11 - My non-gay surprise

When bad things happen, its human nature to retrace your steps and you look back at the decisions and the events that led up to a bad result. You regret something, or you wish something had never happened, or think what could have been if you could go back and change something. But do you ever retrace your steps when something good happens?

Take my situation, for example.

Part 1:
At the beginning of the year, my friend invited me to go out to dinner with her and some co-workers. I only knew her and another girl, but figured, why not? I carpooled with one of them and went to dinner. I had a good time, and after dinner, they talked about going out dancing. I don't usually turn down dancing, so I agreed, but my carpool friend wanted to go home. I decided to stay and drive back with someone else. Out of the people that went dancing, there was my friend, her boyfriend, two of her friends who were girls, and two that were guys. I knew one of them was gay, so I kinda just assumed the other one was too, so I was dancing with him and looking like an idiot. And then he asked for my phone number. Oh, ok, apparently you may like women, that's cool. So I gave it to him.
In that paragraph alone there were at least three decision points that could have ended the whole story.

Part 2:
In the following months, we became friends on Facebook and he texted me about liking the pictures I had on there. He did this at quite possibly the worst time possible, as I was starting to experiment with dating techniques. I bluntly replied that I thought his pictures were sexy, if for no other reason other than because I'd never done it before. And because it was true. But still, very out of character for me, I figured I had nothing to lose. I might have been wrong.
This was in May. I didn't hear back after that last comment.

Part 3:
Until July at least, when I get a message from him saying he moved closer to where I live and asking if I wanted to get together sometime. Considering I got that at 1am on a Tuesday, I didn't have much faith I'd get an answer if I responded. I responded anyway. And didn't hear back again.

Part 4:
Until last Monday. He apologized for disappearing and asked if I wanted to go out this weekend. After all of this, I was ready to say no, but in the name of science said yes. We went out on Friday, and it was the best date I've had in a ridiculously long time. Details aside, I made "the drive of shame" a thing. And now I want him to like me, I really do, but I don't know how to navigate this ridiculous world of adult dating. I don't know how to have text conversations, I don't know what happens now. Ugh.

But the whole point of this is to realize that sometimes good things happen in very roundabout ways, and that you shouldn't close yourself to possibilities just because of something stupid. It took five months and a lot of back-and-forth for this to happen, but now I can truly say I'm glad I gave this the benefit of the doubt and went with it. Even though it sounds like it wasn't going to happen.

Now, how do I make the little red light start blinking on my Blackberry?

The one that got away and the ones who slipped away

After writing the post about my ex boyfriend, I started thinking what made that break up different than all the others. I've had plenty of break ups, break ups started by me, when I've broken other hearts. But I went after this one three years later, but not the others. I call this one "The one that got away" but the other ones just slipped away. Why is this one different than all the others?