Let's get one thing out of the way: I'm impulsive. A lot of times I'll look back at my decisions and physically cringe or twitch or even grunt. Yes, it's happened in the middle of work meetings. Yes, it's awkward that while people are talking about serious things, I'm thinking back to my date last night and that snap decision I made that was just so freaking wrong. And then I let out an audible "UGH". Tuesday, 03/22, was one of those days.
I scheduled a date with a lawyer I met online. As usual, I did my due diligence and googled the shit out of him until I found confirmation of his name, profession, employment status and height. Most people that complain about online dating don't do these things, but I've found that it reduces the odds of something going wrong SIGNIFICANTLY.
Anyways, I met him at a place that I realized way too late was the same place I'd been on my first date with high school teacher (more on that later) . He was already there, well dressed, and had seats at the bar. Minus points for the bar, plus for everything else. One of the first things he said was "Sorry, for the crappy weather", because it was raining and an overall gross day. After deciding sarcasm was an important part of my personality, I responded with "I hardly think that's your fault". He smiled and said "That's... rational". He got it. Perfect. I smile back.
We talk about family, living in the area, he fact that he'd never been to that place before ("Yeah, I realize I've been here before... with friends"). When he talks about work he uses "allegedly" non-ironically. I find this hilarious, because it's super lawyer-speak. I tell him about my knowledge of the legal system, which is limited to TV shows (that I'm aware are humorously wrong) and my limited interaction with an attorney that's driving me crazy. He cracks up at my stories about her, so that's a good sign. He has a couple of beers, I have some wine, we order some tapas.
Then I remember I only had 40min in my meter, and it's probably already expired. Shit. I ask the bartender for change, and realize how much it looks like I'm bailing, since I have to take my coat, scarf, and umbrella to go back to the lot. Feeling bad, I leave my purse (yes, I'm cringing just thinking about it) and run out (yes, run. In heels), just in time to stop the cop who is already writing my ticket. "That's my car!!! I have quarters!". With another hour in the meter, and a warning ("30 more seconds, and you would've had a ticket!") I keep my record still 100% ticket-free and walk back. Then check my purse as soon as he leaves for the bathroom. Nope, still have all my cards. Not that I would've needed them, considering he picked up the check. Nice.
As he walks me back to my car (extra points for walking me even though he was parked in the opposite direction) we hug and he asks me about seeing me again. I can't help but smile and say (almost squeal, really) "Absolutely!". Dork. He confirms that he has my cell phone number since I texted him earlier, and we part ways. Adorable.
But, there's a reason why I started this post with a disclaimer about being impulsive. As I watch my meter tick down to the last two minutes, I pull out my phone and text the high school teacher, who lives 5min away: "You weren't kidding about cops around your area, I almost got a ticket!". Which of course leads me to be invited over, but that's when I made a crucial error that no girl should make. When a guy says "I would say stop by if you want" and "I wouldn't mind if you came by", don't come by. Just don't. If he wanted you there, he'd invite you there. Otherwise, it means "don't come by, I'll just ignore you for an hour while I do something more important". Which is what happened to me, and I watched as he filled out some online forms that he was busy with, and talked to his mother, emailed his sister, and texted his coworker. Brilliant. I say I'm leaving, after I get pretty sick of IMing on my phone with my friend who keeps telling me to GTFO. He walks me down to the door, and then no hug, no kiss, no anything, says "I'll talk to you tomorrow when hopefully I won't be going crazy".
Whatever, dude. He texts me the next day, just to tell me he finished whatever he was working on. Then to tell me, in a roundabout way, that he's going home Friday (today) and will be there for the week. "Home" being his home state, 600mi away.
Good riddance.
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